We are human beings, so we need to please the people around us so that we can "connect" with them so that we can grow emotionally in functioning relationships.
Do not abuse compliments to please others
Do not do that. Never fall into the error of praising a person to the point of inventing qualities only to make you more pleasant. It never works.
Compliments are significant only when they are said occasionally and at the most opportune moment.
If they are uttered to excess, they lose credibility.
Reveal defects but only occasionally
We are sure you too are aware of this. When someone tells you about his carelessness, clumsiness or distraction, it inspires a certain closeness.
We identify more with this type of behavior. What is "infallible" in some way, seems to us more human and so, we feel empathy for these behaviors and for these people, almost immediately.
The experiences that demonstrate this are numerous. Someone who, for example, drops his coffee when he enters a room, who stumbles or is wrong is more appreciated.
Be close to the other, touch it from time to time but "subtly"
To please someone, the last thing to do is to invade their personal space. Do not hug it, do not be "sticky" or otherwise you will only get discomfort and rejection.
But the subtle acts of confidence and proximity leave traces.
A hand on the shoulder, a gentle and imperceptible caress on the arm create fast affections connections. Perceive others as they see themselves.
We must be intuitive. We all have a determined image of ourselves. If others treat us the opposite of how we perceive ourselves, we will feel rejection for them.
Allow others to talk about themselves first and foremost, LISTEN
Promote communication spaces. Allow the other person to speak for themselves and above all, be receptive, show interest.
To please, one must be empathetic and know how to practice emotional openness. So much so that one of the best strategies for connecting with someone is to let them talk about their life with confidence.
Harvard University has published an interesting study on this behavior. Our brain areas related to motivation and reward are activated when we share information about ourselves.
It's something emotionally very positive.
"Copy" something from this person
It is not a question of leaving aside one's own personality to adopt that of the other. It's easier than all that.
